Here is the update! Prayer is always welcomed!

I haven’t blogged in over a week now, not because I have forgotten about my blog, but because I can’t figure out what to say or how to say it.  I told you all about my doctor’s appointments over a week ago and how they put me on an antibiotic.  Last week I went for a follow up and the antibiotic didn’t do a thing and interestingly enough the lymph node in my groin was larger than the previous week.

It is not uncommon for people to get infections and have their lymph nodes go hay wire, but for the extent that mine have gotten it is not normal. I sat there talking to my doctor and he started to go over what the next days and weeks were going to hold.  You see while swollen lymph nodes can be something normal people deal with, mine send up a red flag.  Remicade has been known to cause Lymphoma, I knew this going into treatments, but it is NEVER a fun conversation to have with your doctor.

Lymphoma in Remicade patients is rare, but none the less when dealing with the lymph nodes that have been swollen for a few months now; we have to take more precautions than I care to deal with. Whether I want to deal with it or not, I have to.  So last week when my doctor told me that we need to get the testing for all this underway you can image why I was a bit scared and overwhelmed.  I always wonder what is going through a doctor’s mind when they tell someone that they are testing for cancer or that they are looking for something in particular; or when they have to be the bearer of bad news. I have to believe that it is tough on them, I have to believe that when a doctor is staring me in the face, watching the tears well up in my eyes,  that he feels sad right along with me.  Thank God doctors are trained in these areas because sometimes their lack of emotion helps me keep it all into perspective which in turn helps me keep it together.  Sweet doctor Lane has been my primary care physician for going on 7 years, and so in true Doc. Lane fashion he gave me a big hug and told me we are going to figure it out!! I am so lucky to have such awesome doctors across the board!

I saw Doctor Lane last Thursday, and right after that appointment he sent me to the hospital to get some labs done.  Since people in Lynchburg are uncomfortable using my port, we had to try and find a vein.  OH what a task that is… after 3 tries and two nurses they found a stubborn little vein and we managed to get some blood.  I woke up Friday and headed over to a head and neck surgeon.  Originally I had an appointment for Monday, with a different doctor and after Doctor Lane told Doctor Kitchell about my situation she came in on Friday (a day that she doesn’t usually see patients).  She took a look at the lymph nodes in my neck, and did a consult.  She was super sweet and she graduated from Duke.  Dante was thrilled, his favorite doctor yet!  Haha I told her I was a Carolina fan, and she almost stopped the consult mid visit. HAHA!!!  I am just kidding, but it sure lightened the mood, and she really was great! While we were there she asked to see the lymph node in my groin, and so I showed her. Interestingly enough her husband is a surgeon for the lower half of the body.  Ironic or God???  Totally a God thing!!! So she said, “you know what, I feel like because the node in the groin is bigger, I want my husband to take a look”.  First thought… WOW what is it like to be a surgeon while being married to a surgeon.. lol I will keep thinking about it cause I am just an financial aid rep.  HAHA!!!

Anyways, she left the room and called her husband, he said he wanted to see me asap, and asked when a good time this week was, Thursday was the day I chose, because not only am I going see him, but Doctor Finke moved up my appointment to tomorrow (Thursday) so I would be able to see both doctors, talk and get the opinions of both. HUGE PRAISE!

So where are we today. Well my mom is flying in tonight to be with me over the next couple of days. They have already said that there is a good chance they are going to biopsy and then also do some scans, so we will see how that all goes. I really just want it to be over and done with. Tomorrow my mom turns 50. MOM I am sorry for putting that on blast, but it is a huge day, a special day, and I am so lucky to spend it with you!!!! I just wish it wasn’t going to be in and out of doctors offices all day L but we will rock it out!  We have done it before and this time will be no different. I am so thankful I have such an amazing supportive family.  When all this went down last Thursday I got a phone call at about 8 oclock that night, and my mom said, “Ellie dad wants me to come out there, and I am looking at tickets now, do you think I should come??”. First thought, “ Do I want you to come down??? OF COURSE I want you to come down, and if this is what it takes to get to spend a week with you, bring it on “. I LOVE when my parents are here with me!!! I am lucky to have such a support system that have the capability to drop anything and come be with me.  

I have gotten so many messages, texts, phone calls from people telling me that they are praying. It means the world to know that people are praying on my behalf. Because honestly… I have been unsure what to pray this last week. This could be nothing. My lymph nodes may be just reacting to my weak immune system.  It may be lymphoma, and so as I sit here and type I am at a loss. I haven’t known what to say or what not to say, because I know that if the Lord thinks I can do “this”, by “this” I mean “cancer”,  I am going to do it, and as I said in my previous posts, I pray that God uses me for a greater purpose. I don’t want to be average, I don’t want to be used to do average things, I want to be great! I want to do amazing things for the kingdom. So whatever this is, whatever comes of the next couple weeks I am going to praise the Lord because I know that he will put me right where he wants me.  Like I said I am so thankful for the prayers, texts, notes, and messages. They help me keep it in perspective and remind me that when I don’t know what to pray that it’s ok, because I have so many others who are keeping me in their prayers.  

Dante has been so good about putting my mind at ease, he reminds me to just take one day at a time, and one appointment at time. That is all we can do at this point. So today we wait. I wait for my awesome mom to get her butt here so we can have an awesome night, and then I will get up tomorrow morning and head to work like I normally would, and then I will meet a new doctor. I will get yet another opportunity to share my story, my life, and my situation with someone else. So pray. Pray that I sleep, and that tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible. Pray that I am calm, and that I clearly explain what is going on, and also that I understand everything that the doctor has to say. Pray that whatever comes of all of this, good, bad or indifferent that I clearly see the Lord’s hand molding this situation into something beautiful. It is hard to see beauty in this right now, but God is still Good, just like my last post says, he is good and he is ALWAYS good. I know whatever this is, is going to be used for his good. So I am ready, well as ready as anyone can be going through this J Thank you for allowing me to share what has been on my mind and heart lately.  I hope you all have an amazing week, and I will update you when I have some more information, and results.

God Bless,

Ellie